Create Your Rescue Pack (Part I)

Shelly Jean John April 26, 2016

Woman looking at a map and valley

Some people think that the best way to get through the journey of divorce, separation or co-parenting, is to know the law. Yes, that is important and there are many resources to learn the law. But what is equally important is ensuring that your mind and body are primed for the journey ~ and this is not often spoken of. I promise to write blogs about “the law,” but I am passionate about sharing the importance of these next several posts. Let me show you how to create a Rescue Pack of techniques and tools to get ready for your journey to restructure your life and that of your family.


This step is vital for surviving your divorce or separation. We are human beings who are social and need Connection. The stress of divorce or separation is one of the top 5 most stressful events in life (it’s right up there with the death of a loved one and losing your job). If you want to Thrive through the process, take time to think about the “5 W’s” :

  • WHO you are and who you want to be

  • WHAT motivates you in life

  • WHERE can you go for help

  • HOW do you want to feel

  • WHEN will you make time to take care of yourself

Spend time contemplating these things in a loving way. Be compassionate with yourself ~

  • see your self-worth,

  • have compassion for your struggles and

  • calm your mind from life’s craziness to see the beauty in the world.

When you do these things on a regular basis, you are better equipped to show up in the highest way to life which will cause your interactions with your ex to be more respectful and creative. Consideration of the 5 W’s will transform the way you experience your situation.

Paddling upstream without consideration of where you are going and “why” only serves to exhaust you and keep you stuck. You will feel more at peace and better able to make good decisions when you take the time to answer the 5 Ws.

The problem is that when we are in the pit of hell and in distress, we forget the answers to the 5 Ws. For this reason, at the beginning of our relationship, I ask my clients to create their RESCUE PACK of ideas to support them through the process. In the next few posts, I will give you ideas on what to put in your RESCUE PACK. Stay tuned!

Extra Tidbit: In future posts, I will discuss the importance of beginning your day with a sense of openness and commitment to compassion for yourself and for others. Author Dani Shapiro recites each day, “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be strong, may I live with ease.” As she says this affirmation for her own safety and happiness, she makes room to feel and recite the blessing for others…”May You be Safe, May You be Happy, May You be Strong, May You Live with Ease.” Repeating these words daily opens our hearts to feeling compassion for others which will reduce feelings of frustration and anxiety through the divorce/separation process.